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[雅思培训]刘雅敏:雅思写作之你不知道的连接手段

来源:网络 2018-05-31 编辑:朗阁小编 雅思托福0元试学

什么决定了你的雅思作文分数?不少考生都能说出答案——逻辑。那么,怎样能让作文有逻辑呢?相信你一定会说——使用连接词。不可否认,句子间的连接词清晰地显示出这两句话的逻辑。但此外,还有其它方法吗?

什么决定了你的雅思作文分数?不少考生都能说出答案——逻辑。那么,怎样能让作文有逻辑呢?相信你一定会说——使用连接词。不可否认,句子间的连接词清晰地显示出这两句话的逻辑。但此外,还有其它方法吗?


 

朗阁海外考试研究中心的老师们提出:使用简单句、主从句、并列句替换连接词。

 


一、 简单句(分词、不定式、介词短语)

 

简单句太简单了!有了这样的想法,你会奋不顾身地用又长又复杂的句型,而分数呢?是打不破的6分魔咒?还是万年5.5?甚至5分?

 

*,别沮丧!你不过是忽视了那些短小精悍的分词(v-ingv-ed)、不定式(to do),以及介词短语。


 

  1.  分词(v-ingv-ed

 

因果(分词是原因):

The spread of multinational products can often bring in its wake a loss of jobs, as people turn to buying the new brand, perhaps thinking it more glamorous than the one they are used to.C10T3

翻译:跨国产品的传播往往会导致失业,因为人们转而*新牌子,可能认为这要比他们习惯使用的产品更吸引人。

考生表达:The spread of multinational products can often bring in its wake a loss of jobs, as people turn to buying the new brand, because they may think it more glamorous than the one they are used to.

解析:显然,分词短语(“thinking used to”)比because引导的从句更简洁。同时,because连接的两个句子因果关系强,与“可能”不符。


 

因果(分词是结果):

They tend to be more independent, which is a very important factor in academic study and research, giving them an advantage in terms of coping with the challenges of their future life.C5T2

翻译:他们会更独立,这对*研究至关重要,为其应对未来的生活挑战带来优势。

考生表达:They tend to be more independent, which is a very important factor in academic study and research. This gives them an advantage in terms of coping with the challenges of their future life.

解析:C5T2用现在分词(giving)短语作状语,表因果关系,在语法的多样性上分数高于考生表达。同时,拆成两句后,This前后内容的紧密程度大大降低。


 

2.      不定式(to do

 

目的:

To help a child learn the difference between right and wrong, teachers and parents should firstly provide good role modeling in their behavior.C10T1

翻译:为了帮助*明辨是非,老师和家长首先应以身作则,树立榜样。

考生表达:Teachers and parents should firstly provide good role modeling in their behavior. This can help a child learn the difference between right and wrong.

解析:“To help wrong,”作状语,是主句“teachers and parents should behavior”的目的,且把状语提前,起到强调作用。诚然,考生表达中用“This”代指前文,承上启下,但两句话是对等的,失去了层次感,也无强调作用。

 

3.      介词短语

 

解释:

In many countries, the birth rate is decreasing so that families are smaller with fewer children.C4T4

翻译:在很多国家,出生率不断下降,导致家庭中*减少,规模变小。

考生表达:In many countries, the birth rate is decreasing so that families are smaller. In other words, families have fewer children.

解析:with短语更简洁,且能够体现和主干的主次关系,并非句子重心。而作为解释关系的连接词,In other words强调后面句子,显然与C4T4作者意欲表达的意思不符。

 

举例:

Just like movie stars, they live extravagant lifestyles with huge houses and cars.C4T4

翻译:就像电影明星,他们有房有车,过着*的生活方式。

考生表达:Just like movie stars, they live extravagant lifestyles, such as huge houses and cars.

解析:with短语比such as更简洁。重要的是,C4T4强调句子主干,with短语属于信息补充。而such as强调例子,若把with改成such as,主干重心往例子偏移。

 


因果(介词短语是原因):

those with painful memories of PE at school might be happier in the swimming pool than on the football pitch.C9T3

翻译:那些对学校体育课有痛苦回忆的人,游泳比踢球更能让他们开心。

考生表达:… because some students have painful memories of PE at school, they might be happier in the swimming pool than on the football pitch.

解析:C9T3不仅更简洁,更重要的是,介词短语(with)体现出了和句子主干的层次感,即,作者想强调“有些人喜欢游泳,不喜欢踢球”,with短语在主干基础上,修饰其中一个成分——主语(those)。相比之下,考生表达的重心偏移到因果关系上。

 


因果(介词短语是结果):

This policy has been adopted by some educational authorities or individual schools, with both positive and negative outcomes.C9T1

翻译:这一政策被一些教育*或个别学校采用,结果喜忧参半。

考生表达:This policy has been adopted by some educational authorities or individual schools. This leads to both positive and negative outcomes.

解析:with短语更能体现和句子主干的主次关系,属于补充。但考生表达中将其拓成一句话,层次感就没了。

 

转折:

This means that the children grow up without consideration for others and without any understanding of where their standard of living comes from.C4T4

翻译:这意味着这些*在成长中,不考虑其他人,也不理解他们的生活标准来自于什么。

考生表达:This means that children grow up, but they do not consider others or understand where their standard of living comes from.

解析:介词短语比句子要灵活。且“without”既可表转折,还有否定含义,表达也更高效。

 


二、 主从句

 

提到主从句,你一定会想到that(或which)。但你没想过,that连接的主句和从句是有逻辑关系的。而除了thatwhich,还有哪些词可以连接两个有逻辑的句子呢?

 

1.      宾语从句

 

因果:

Hard economic realities mean that many people have little choice in the kind of job they can get.C7T3

翻译:经济不景气意味着很多人在工作种类上几乎没有选择权。

考生表达:Because of hard economic realities, many people have little choice in the kind of job they can get.

解析:表示逻辑关系时,连接词比从句语气强。如,Because of强调原因。换言之,这句话可换成:It is hard economic realities that means many people have little choice in the kind of job they can get.。但原文作者不强调原因,只解释因果关系。

 

2.      表语从句

 

下定义:

innate talent is what differentiates a person who has been trained to play a sport or an instrument, from those who become good players.C6T4

翻译:天赋是种能力,可以区分那些接受体育或乐器培训的人和好的运动员或演奏者。

考生表达:… innate talent means something that differentiates a person who has been trained to play a sport or an instrument, from those who become good players.

解析:给“天赋”下定义时,“天赋是……”比“天赋的意思是……”更直接。另外,“something that”比“what”简洁。所以考生要时刻要求自己,能用一个单词解释清楚,就不要写两个。

 


因果:

This is because it is the rich and powerful people in our society who are able to impose changes (such as in working conditions or property developments) that are in their own interests.C6T4

翻译:这是因为,正式我们社会上的富人和有权势的人从自身利益出发做出改变(例如在工作环境或地产发展)。

考生表达:… because it is the rich and powerful people in our society who are able to impose changes (such as in working conditions or property developments) that are in their own interests.

解析:相比“because”,“This is because”中This指前文,可承上启下。且“This is because”虽表示因果,但属于考生使用较少的表语从句,而非目的状语从句(becauseassince),在评分标准之一——Grammatical Range and Accuracy(语法范围及准确性)上,分数更高。

 

3.      同位语从句

 

解释:

Obviously, education systems are based on the belief that all children can effectively be taught to acquire different skills.C7T1

翻译:很明显,教育系统基于这样一个信念,即,所有*都可通过教学获得不同技能。

考生表达:Obviously, education systems are based on a belief. Specifically, all children can effectively be taught to acquire different skills.

解析:specifically虽表解释关系,但属于副词,作状语,解释整个句子(Obviously, education systems are based on the belief.),而非某个单词(belief),故考生表达中specifically使用不当。也有考生写“…, which is that all children can effectively be taught to acquire different skills.”。显然,“… that .”(同位语从句)比“…, which is that .”(定语从句和表语从句)更高效,即能用一个从句解释清楚,就不写两个。

 


4.  定语从句

 

a. 限制性定语从句

 

转折:

In some cases an employee is working in a job that suits neither their skills nor their personality.C7T3

翻译:在一些情况下,员工的工作既不符合他们的技能也不适合他们的性格。

考生表达:An employee is working in a job. However, in some cases the job suits neither their skills nor their personality.

解析:C7T3that既可连接两句话,还代指a job。而考生用However连接两句话,也可表转折,但However在这儿是副词,不能代指a job,所以However后面句子只能再次用job,表达较繁琐。

 


因果(从句是原因):

As this policy would also affect the cost of public transport, it would be very unpopular with everyone who needs to travel on the roads.C8T3

翻译:有些人认为体育明星的薪水是合理的,他们认为有真正天赋的*数量很少。

考生表达:As this policy would also affect the cost of public transport, it would be very unpopular with everyone, because they need to travel on the roads.

解析:who在从句中作主语,代指主句中的everyone,既可连接原因和结果,还可避免重复同一个写作对象,在语法分数上要高于because。而且,because强调原因,who则作为从句修饰主句,句子重心在主句上。

 


因果(从句是结果):

If primary language teaching is not standardized, secondary schools could be faced with a great variety of levels in different languages within their intake, resulting in a classroom experience which undoes the earlier gains.C9T1

翻译:如果*语言教学不标准,*就会面临新入学的学习不同语言、不同水平的学生,这带来的课堂体验会减削之前取得的成绩。

考生表达:If primary language teaching is not standardized, secondary schools could be faced with a great variety of levels in different languages within their intake. As a result, this classroom experience undoes the earlier gains.

解析:C9T1which和考生表达中As a result都可显示前后文的因果关系,但“…, resulting in a classroom experience which .”既有分词作状语表因果,已有定语从句表因果,在GRACCCoherence and Cohesion连贯和衔接,即逻辑)上分数更高。

 


b.  非限制性定语从句

 


因果:

This kind but firm approach will achieve more than harsh punishments, which might entail many negative consequences unintended by the parents.C10T1

翻译:这种宽严相济的方法会比严厉惩罚更有效,严厉惩罚能导致父母意料之外的很多后果。

考生表达:This kind but firm approach will achieve more than harsh punishments, because harsh punishments might entail many negative consequences unintended by the parents.

解析:C10T1might表可能,说明并非一定有后果。但because表达强因果关系,语气较强,与C10T1作者想表达的意思不符。

 


解释:

But I think the solution to the problem lies with the families, who need to be more aware of the future consequences of spoiling their children.C4T4

翻译:但我认为该问题的解决措施在于家庭,他们需要更多地认识到溺爱*的后果。

考生表达:But I think the solution to the problem lies with the families. To put it more specific, the families need to be more aware of the future consequences of spoiling their children.

解析:who引导非限制性定语从句,不仅代指前面主句中the families,表达更高效,且比To put it more specific更简洁。

        


举例:

Making the punishment fit the crime is a useful notion, which would see children being made to pick up rubbish they have dropped, clean up graffiti they have drawn, or apologise to someone they have hurt.C9T1

翻译:惩罚与罪行相匹配很重要,使用这一理念会让*捡起他们随手丢掉的垃圾,清除掉他们的涂鸦,或向他们伤害过的人道歉。

考生表达:Making the punishment fit the crime is a useful notion. For example, children would be made to pick up rubbish they have dropped, clean up graffiti they have drawn, or apologise to someone they have hurt.

解析:“, which”引导非限制性定语从句,代指前面主句中a notion。但For example作为介词短语,作状语,解释前面整个句子,故考生表达中For example使用不当。

 

5.  状语从句

 

转折:

even though it is likely that all workers do feel happy in their work, I think it is not unrealistic to promote more job satisfaction in any job.C7T3

翻译:尽管可能所有劳动者在工作中都感到快乐,但我认为任何工作都可以进一步*满意度。

考生表达:… it is likely that all workers do feel happy in their work. However, I think it is not realistic to promote more job satisfaction in any job.

解析:这是even though引导的让步状语从句,表转折。相比其它从句,无论是语序(与中文语序一致)还是引导词(有实际含义,尽管),都不容易出错,适合所有语法水平的考生。

 

因果(结果状语从句):

It seems that the experiences we have in life are so unpredictable and so powerful, that they can boost or over-ride other influences.C5T4

翻译:看上去我们的生活经验如此不可题库、如此强大,以至于它们可以助长或盖过其它影响

考生表达:It seems that the experiences we have in life are very unpredictable and powerful, so they can boost or over-ride other influences.

解析:这是so that引导的结果状语从句,表因果。相比其它从句,无论是语序(与中文语序一致)还是引导词(有实际含义,所以),都不容易出错,适合所有语法水平的考生。

 

假设:

If they could raise them to be more considerate of others and to be social, responsible individuals, the whole society would benefit.C4T4

翻译:如果父母把他们培养地更加体谅他人、会社交,并负责任,全社会都会受益。

解析:这是If引导的条件状语从句,表假设。相比其它从句,无论是语序(与中文语序一致)还是引导词(有实际含义,如果),都不容易出错,适合所有语法水平的考生。

 

 

因果(原因状语从句):

tourism numbers may also be affected, as travellers become disillusioned with finding every place just the same as the one they visited previously.C10T3

翻译:游客数量也会受到影响,因为看到每个地方都跟他们去过的地方一模一样,游客感觉幻想破灭。

考生表达:Travellers become disillusioned with finding every place just the same as the one they visited previously. As a result, tourism numbers may also be affected.

解析:这是as引导的原因状语从句,表因果。相比其它从句,无论是语序(与中文语序一致)还是引导词(有实际含义,因为),都不容易出错,适合所有语法水平的考生。

 


三、并列句

 

并列句不是并列关系。尤其是and连接的两个分句,有两种逻辑关系,一种是因果,另一种是解释。

 

因果(前因后果):

This means that change is not always a personal option, but an inescapable fact of life, and we need to constantly adapt to keep pace with it.C6T4

翻译:这意味着改变不一定是个人选择,也可能是无法逃避的生活真相,因而我们需要不断调整,跟上节奏。

考生表达:This means that change is not always a personal option, but an inescapable fact of life, so we need to constantly adapt to keep pace with it.

解析:so表强因果关系,and则可理解成this means(这意味着),因果关系较弱。

 

解释:

Interest in sport is not universal, and additional facilities might simply attract the already fit, not those who most need them.C9T3

翻译:不是每个人都对体育感兴趣,换言之,更多的设施可能仅仅吸引那些已经就很健康的人,而不是那些*需要的人。

考生表达:Interest in sport is not universal. More specifically, additional facilities might simply attract the already fit, not those who most need them,

解析:相比More specificallyand前后两个分句连接更紧密。

 

为何*不用连接词?没有连接词就意味着没有逻辑吗?非也!连接词只是体现逻辑的方法之一。朗阁海外考试研究中心的老师建议,让作文中的分词、不定式、介词短语、主从句,及并列句等,在传达信息的同时,更能连接信息,才是语法的高效打开方式!



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